yes, words

There's the freight train part of me that's ready to go places. Well, the freight train doesn't really work here, because I don't want to go along a track someone else has built. I'm done with streamlined institutions when it comes to spirituality. Maybe I'm more like the Tarot's Knight of Swords: When she sets her mind on something, she gets on her horse and nothing is going to stop her. She doesn't want to take it slow, or just let things happen. She goes after it, full speed, and is ready to engage everyone around her on her mission.

My mind wants to understand. That's always been my thing. In relationships, politics, group dynamics. My English degree. I analyze and intellectualize. I could talk a topic to death (much to my husband's dismay at times). So when I was in Christianity, I loved the heady stuff of digging into texts, learning what the original Greek or Hebrew said, why was God so many different characters in the Bible, and how do we make sense of that? Along with that came questions my elders didn't want to discuss with me. When I heard from my father's Baptist pulpit that our truth was the only way to Heaven -- even at age seven, I wanted to discuss! "This can't be true, can it? Doesn't make sense to me!"

Knight of Swords meets spirituality. Let's-a-go! (as Mario would say). Let's talk about it, ad infinitum if need be. I want to understand. Get to the bottom, and the top, and circumnavigate it a few times while we're at it. Gallop and cavort and jump the fences in our minds and talk it out.

But. That's not how it works with spirit. For one thing: words. What do words have to do with the One Consciousness? With Being for goodness' sake? Awareness doesn't have a list of discussion points with headers, text, and subtext. (But have a little fun and go read a few posts on nonduality at Facebook. Lots and lots of words.)

Words, and going, and doing, getting places, arriving, going again, reading, reading, reading, listening, listening, listening. So much activity around a topic that just says: Be in awareness.