words

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If I start with I am maybe the words will come. 

I was lying in the hammock -- October sun warm, elm branches curtaining half a circle around me, and I knew, deeply knew, that this is It. This green leaf grace in light breeze. This blue sky ease. This effortless seeing. This connection with what is. Awareness. In just a month's time I've gone from despair, stress, depression, striving, to this. A month ago the longing was so intense it felt like it would rip the stitches out of every seam of me.

For the life of me no matter how much I read and listened and "learned" about just being, just letting it happen, I kept seeing the bar this high. Enlightenment. Awakening. Direct experience with the God presence. Ultimate consciousness. All. Day. Long.

It just isn't that easy to undo all the little buckles and ties that have dressed my mind. A lifetime of it, and hey, I'm 69. Just. But once you start unbuckling and untying you find out it really isn't that hard. Tug and release, and freedom from the stress of idealistic programming feels so damn good you just want more. 

This blog is about more.

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